Alright... I'm trying to fight it but a girl is lonely. I thought I was lonely back at home but there is nothing like the loneliness of being alone in a foreign country. I have been lucky enough to find male companions here but there is nothing like the familairity of your best girlfriend or your family. Seriously, hopefully this is only temporary but if I don't find some friends I don't know how I'm going to make it through 6 weeks! In my first week here I have had three dates... more then I experience in three months in los angeles :) Why am I not stasified with this?

Yesterday, I went to the pompeii ruins. I think here I really experienced the longing to have someone with me. I looked at ruins for hours but without having the ability to express to someone what you are seeing, what it makes you think about, etc...You just walk around in your head. I'm tired of being in my head. I really want to fully express myself without having to think about how to make someone else undestand what I am saying. I want to say complex words with deep meaning. I'm tired of limiting my sentence structure to nouns and searching for the appropriate verb. Yesterday I ran into a nice english couple, i probably scared them because I continued to talk interupting thier nice evening together.

Actually missing my family and friends neve occured to me before I left. I've never had a problem meeting people and establishing friendships but it's a completely different thing I guess when you are in a country where there is a clear communication barrier. I guess I am a little spoiled... I have 6 weeks without any work, living in italy, and I have suitors available every night willing to spend thier last dime on me, but I just can't let go of this feeling... something is missing.

I did the one thing that you don't do on a vacation in Italy... join a gym! I couldn't help it :) It was cheap and a very nice gym and they have tons of spinning classes. The spinning class was so intrigued that I was from Los Angeles and wanted to know if thier class was up to par. Spinning in italy is no joke, these people know what they are doing. The gym watches me in awe as I walk around... I am clearly a foreigner, black and tall, I'm getting these looks pretty much wherever I go. You get used to it after awhile. There is a cute young girl named Rosaria who has taken an interst in making sure I am having a good time at the gym. I think I'm gonna hit up Rosaria to take me out with her friends one night :)

My loving adoring italian family has made it clear that I am a visitor. Though they are there whenever I need something, I am not invited to family dinners or even family lunches. They cook and eat together everyday but it's clear that it's only for them. Can you imagine smelling beautiful italian food but not allowed to have any? I tested this out the other day, they made homemade gnoochi and I traveled down to the kitchen while they were eating, even antinino's girlfriend viviana was there. They all just waved and said Ciao. Lia, the sister who speaks the best english asked me if I had eaten, I told her no but then she asked me why not? but never invited me to a plate. Later, I asked Mama Anna if I can do laundry here over the weekend, she told me of a nice laundry mat on the main street Corsa Italia :) Again every nice people, but I am clearly the nice foreigner they would like to keep as that.

It's a beautiful day today. They first all week. So am going to go hang out at the beach and write... and then go out with Fabio. Hopefully somewhere between the beach and fabio I connect with a couple people.