There is a blessing in every disaster

The night before I left Sorrento, I went out to Raro Food, this great little trendy deli where the owner is friends with the Maresca's. With his help, I picked out a bottle of wine that he assured me that they would love. When I brought it back to the house with a card, written in Italian, thanking them for their hospitality they were more then thankful! We took pictures, joked about my Italian, and exchanged information. Regardless of the whole weird food and laundry thing, I really lucked out to be able to stay with this family. Not only are they nice and accomidating, they are a real family and whenever I am back in Sorrento, I know I have people who will take care of me.

In the early morning, Peppe took me to the train station where I took a bus to the Naples airport. My flight started in Naples to Rome, Rome to JFK, and finally LAX. The trip in total of 15 hours, just the thought of it makes me exhausted. On my way here I was lucky enough to be able to have an overnight flight in business class. This time it’s straight couch. While waiting in the Naples airport, this flashy woman decides to take the seat right next to me eventhough I have my stuff spread out and there are plenty of seats other places. She starts to ask me about the flight departure time and then we start having a conversation on where we are going. Interesting enough, this woman who speaks fluent Italian doesn’t know where Sorrento is in Italy. Strange… then she tells me she is Tunisian and going back home but she leaves with her husband and her kids in Naples. Although, I can pretty much converse in Italian, Im not perfect so of course I can’t figure out how this woman is going home but lives in Naples… whatever. She's pretty crazy but sweet and tells me how she hates working and is thankful that her husband makes enough money that she doesn’t have to work. We exchange pictures and talk about our families. Then we bond over being African women. I did all this for about an hour in Italian!! I don’t care what anyone says, the fact that I can carry a conversation in Italian after only four weeks is pretty great.

Slowly the flight is delayed 15 minutes, then 30 minutes, and then an hour. Not until we are about to board that I actually start to question the time my flght in Rome leaves and sure enough the flight is scheduled to leave the exact same time that I am suppose to arrive! At first I’m not shaken cause I figure I will just take the next flight and arrive in New York and have to spend the night in New York. The idea of spending the night in Ny was soothing because I knew I could get a really early flight and it would literally be just the night. But when I arrive in Rome I find out that my scheduled flight was the last flight to the United States!! So, it’s 1 o clock in the afternoon and I wont get a flight until 9 am the next morning! I’m pissed, I’m tired, I’m frustrated. The woman at the kiosk can really care less about how I feel and shoves me off to an airport hotel. She laughs constantly as she reroutes my ticket… I know she’s talking about me, I can see it but she talking too fast I can’t figure out what the hell she is saying. I so want to catch her ass, haha!! I speak Italian bitch!! But she’s too good…

Once I get over my tantrum and realize my ass is in Rome for the day, I walk over to the hotel shuttle area and wait. Three of four drivers are hanging out but none of them are going to my hotel. The talkative Aireka, who is always able to make a friend, joins the group of five drivers and finds out that my hotel is 30 minutes outside of Rome. Oh Joy… One of them jokes with me and tells me for 50 euros an hour he will take me through Rome, I tell him in Italian, for 5 euros he’s hired, he’s not getting 50 euros from me, I’m not a rich lady. They laugh and again they are all amazed that I have been only studying for four weeks ( hahaha Anna! I can parlo italiano!) . Finally, my shuttle comes and I am the only person going to this wonderful Airport Palace Hotel. And the hotel is just that… an airport palace.. just like any airport hotel is like in the states. Lucky enough the metro is just across the street and I decide to turn my distaster into a blessing… I am in Rome for the day!! Free of charge!! I wanted more time in Italy, now I got it!!

So I hop on the metro and it drops me off in the middle of somewhere. I have no idea where I am and I don’t recollect anything from the last time I was in Rome 7 years ago. I buy a map but it’s so huge I have no idea where I am currently. So I just start to walk…



As I am walking I start to really like Rome… I hated Rome the last time I was here but there was something about being in a city that I liked! I was walking aimlessly and thousands of others walked with me. I passed Chinese people, African people, Spanish people, Muslim people. No one stared at me, some people assumed I was Italian and didn’t even try to speak to me in English. I even saw a Chinese restaurant! I felt like I had missed so much by not wanting to come back to Rome, just the energy of being in a place with thousands of people and thousands of things to do each day excited me! Being in Rome actually gave me a little bit to be excited about going home!

After studying my huge map I decided to just hop on a bus towards the area where most of the momuments seem to be. Just like in Ny thousands of people hopped on the bus at once and there is no way for the driver to tell who has paid or not.



I come to some gorgeaous place which I again don’t remember seeing the last time I was here or really know what I am looking about but it looks like some time of offical building, and behind it is The Forum. The great thing about traveling alone is that you can take as much or as little time that you need to absord a place. Twenty minutes was more then enough time get in and out and feel like I saw enough. As I’m studying my map to figure out where to go next, I see the driver who was trying to get me to pay 50 euros! He tells me is about to pick up his girlfriend around the corner and if I want a ride, he will take me!! So I hoop into this great Mercedes truck and we pick up his lovely girlfriend and her friend and they take me to the Fountana Di Trivi! So fantastic! I’m literally in Rome for a couple of hours, I’ve already met a friend and I get a driver!! Moments like this is why I love traveling.



I take my photos of the fountain and quickly leave because there are just too many damn tourists. I am a tourist myself but I just can't stand tourist... you will never find me on a tour bus or traveling with more then one or two people. Instead of immediately finding the bus I just walk through the city. Rome is such a gorgeaous place because it is metropolitian but surrounded by ruins! There is nothing like this place. I can actually see myself happily living here and start to wonder why did I study exclusively in Sorrento.

It starts to get dark and I get tired so I hop on the bus back to the metro and successfully make it back to the hotel like a pro. Today was the perfect ending to my Italian excusion. I felt complete. I saw something different, I got to spend time by myself exploring and I really connected to Rome which in someway gave me the completion I was looking for. The fact that I felt a little bit Italian and that I could really communicate in language showed me that I really have accomplished a lot in this trip. I started to think about how I was the first week in Sorrento and lonely and here I was in a much more bigger city and I was runnin it without any fear and getting around easily. I have mastered being alone. I have really learned what it means to be on my own. I’ve been out of my parents home for years but the solace of traveling by yourself builds true independence. That itself is probably the greatest gift that I can bring home with me in Los Angeles… Aireka Muse can stand on her own….happily!!

Arrivederci....

It's my last day in Italy and like a good american I have spent a big chuck of my day in the cafe searching the web for freelance writer positions. You would think I would be eating everything I possibly can living La dolce vita one last time but instead im obessed with doing the right thing and being completely prepared for my life back in the states.

My trip has ended abruptly I am torn with my return. Everything began to point to that it was time for me to go home so there is no denying that it's the right time but regardless of the signs I'm still not ready to face what I was running from. Which is probably more of the reason that it was time for me to go home : ) It's odd because there is really nothing in Sorrento to keep me here, It's just the fact that I have to come home... God, as I write I realize how spoiled I am. I have a very blessed life and at this point I need to take in the wonderful experience I have had and be thankful that I have a home and loved ones to return to.

Its been a wonderful experience and more then anything it has been a wonderful test of my abilities and seeing what I am made of. Regardless of your surrounding there are personal traits that will always follow you. Just like at home, I was late all the time, I found a group of people and a bar to frequent, and a found a gym to freguent. It definitely made me realize what was important to me and what exactly I need to happy exist. This trip has only manifested how important writing is to me and my soul. Therefore, I return with more of a love for it then a dispise for the career I have choosen. I'm scared to come home because I don't want to lose the piece and self confidence I have found here.

So farwell Sorrento!! I say goodbye to the blue water, the crazy aggresive italian men, the wonderful amazing food and the constant buzz or scooters and cars. I say good bye to my friends that I have found traveling. Just like the family you create on a film site, you become very close during the time you are together but most likely you will never see each other again. I plan to come back to Sorrento one day and I plan to always study the italian language. Therefore there will be a little bit of italy always with me. I'm going to come back one day and happily speak italian fluently. Farewell to my freedom... it's time to face the real world!! I look forward to finding out what I have learned on my journey....

Money....

I'm stuck and I don't know what to do...

My plan before I came to Sorrento was to be here for a month and then I would take a week and do a lil more traveling before I came back to the States. After I booked my ticket I realized that my program was 4 weeks, not one month, therefore since there are five weeks in the month of may, the program ends on the 26th of May, leaving me now with two weeks of travel. At first I was excited about this oppurtunity, and looked at my money and figured I had more then enough money to get by. Since I was living with a family and would not have much of a social life, I probably would spend less money traveling then I do in Los Angeles. This unfortunatley was not my reality. Not only is Sorrento an expensive place, I expected to eat the majority of my meals with my Italian family but aside from my breakfast of coffee and toast ( this is standard italian breakfast) I was never invited to eat with them. Neither was I allowed to use the washing machine or cook my own food.

I can't put all my financial woes on my family. I have never been able to really budget and I assume just like my life back at home, I spent way to much money on eating out at great restaurants then choosing my cuisine with economic importance. Add to this the fact that I had a great two days in probably the most expensive place in Italy, Capri Island, I am now broke for the remainder of my stay. So my plan to go to visit friends in Paris and London are now shot. I don't have enough money to get there and have money to maintain living there so my only choice really is to stay in Sorrento or go back home to work.

Now if I stay in Sorrento, where am I going to stay? If I stay with the Maresca's I would have to pay. Although it is probably a lot cheaper then staying in a hotel.... I really can only afford free at the moment. So Fabio offers that I can stay at his house for the next two weeks. Fabio has two rooms and is very close to the center of the town. He works during the night and sleeps during the day so this really gives me the chance to spend the majority of the time by myself if I wanted to.

I have figured everything out perfectly. I budgeted my money and had a place to stay for the next two weeks but today everything has completely changed. Fabio and I have gotten in an serious argument. Imagine how hard it is to get the opposite sex to understand you when you speak the same language, now throw in a serious language barrier... it's impossible situation. I have no tolerance for stupidity. Once I feel that you have done something without any logical thought, my respect for you is out the window. I then look at my account online and see that money has been withdrawn from my account that I never authorized plus a friend of mine deposited a big check I wrote her months ago. I'm completely broke with a place to stay that at the moment I'm not sure if it's the best situation for me.

I'm frustrated, depressed, and dissapointed in myself. I wasn't responsable enough with my money and now I have to return home a lot sooner then I am ready to. My self discovery journey is coming to an end alot sooner then I expected....In days from now I will be back in Los Angeles... in a job that leaves me uninspired, dealing with self doubt and chasing instant fame. I don't what to come back home but I really don't know what else to do...

Today is my last day at Sorrento Lingue. I find myself anxious and a little scared of the next two weeks. It's really weird... the fact that school is over for me is the first real signal that I have recieved that my time here is actually coming to an end soon. And literally in the same moment I have happy and completely depressed. I miss my friends, I miss the convience of having a car and the feeling of having complete control of where you are and what you are doing but in no means am I ready to return to the life I was living before I left. It hit me like a brick today... wait a minute, I have to go back and be a receptionist? I have to go back home and worry about my career? Think about how I'm going to pay bills? Obligation? Responsability? AWWW!!!

I came out here to descover alot of specific things about myself and I haven't really found them yet. So what am I going to do when I go home? I feel like I have to come home with a clear definite plan when it comes to my life, a new outlook on where I am going and what I am doing. I feel like I have reached a more calm place and have a better understanding of where I want to go and the fear of failure doesn't frighten me everyday. Will this new found patience with life stay with me when I go back home? Is it only because I am in Sorrento and disconnected from my reality in Los Angeles? Regardless of the answers, I am now terrified of coming home and feel obligated to returning with a new perspective. What if I don't find anything? As a woman told me before I left, when you set out to discover yourself, you are taking yourself with you... I think one of the things I am discovering is that everything that I need for my life I already know, I have to tools I just have to figure out how to use them.

I still have two more weeks here and during the time I plan to just write and stay commited to my work. It's going to be an interesting time because now that I have been in Sorrento for a little bit I feel like I know the place so the excitement to explore and be constantly doing something has settled. Now I can actually stay at the house for a long period of time and be happy. Im starting to feel like I live here. I'm writing more then I have ever written. I have written three times the amount I am use to. When it takes me about a month finish one act I have written it in a week in a half. I think being in Sorrento, has helped ease my doubt regarding my profession but I am terrified of getting back into the constant chase and having my self esteem defined by my profession. I think the lesson for me is again to breath and stay patient in the ride of life, not all answers are meant to be had.

Reasons that I could never live in Italy

I always fantasized about living in Italy and now that I have been here for about a month there are things that I enjoy and appreciate about the United States:

MORE THEN JUST ITALIAN FOOD
Even in the most metropolitian cities here in Italy, the majority of the restaurants are Italian. Eventhough I love Italian food I am happy to say that I live in an area where you are given multiple international foods. The idea that people don't have the option of eating indian, thai, chinese, japanese, greek, soul food, or peruvian on any given day is beyond me. I am thankful for Los Angeles's eclectic area and choice when it comes to food. Im a foodie, I can't help it.

SIESTA

Why the hell do the stores clothes from 1 to 5? It makes absolutely no sense to me. Especially during 1 to 5, I have been completely conditioned to get the majority of my errands or whatever I need to get done during this time! Italians work 8 hour days, 9 to 1 and then from 4 to 8. In a way this is does seem more pratical because Americans work 12 hour days but all I can think about is all the work that is not getting done! Literally everyone goes home during this time. You can't go to the grocery store, or the bank, literally during this time the only thing that is open is the restaurant and of course the millions of ice cream shops.

DRYER ANYONE?
Like all the famous photos, Italians line dry thier clothes. It's glamourous but I can't help but perfer what a towel feels like after being in the dryer then being line dryed for awhile. Ladies, imagine, you can't just throw your jeans in the dryer for a couple minutes to get that much need tight feel. You can't find your favorite shirt and possibly wear it that evening. One of my teachers is wearing the same outfit she wore yesterday, I'm assuming her recent load of clothes didn't dry in time.

I'M THE ONLY ONE
Literally there are not enough black people in this area. I don't remember what it felt like when I was in Rome but here in Sorrento and also in Capri, they are in pure shock to see me. I don't know if I will ever get use to the stares of curiousity or literally being the "only one".

INDEPENDENCE?
It's wierd, the women here are raised with a sense of independence, they learn how to clean, are presured to go to college and even are given the oppurtunity to live on thier own. On the other hand, the men are catered to by thier mothers. Most of them do not lift a finger when it comes to cleaning. I know most americans think it is the same in the United States, but the fact that your boyfriend knows how to do his own laundry is way beyond what Italian men are taught. The majority of them do not leave thier home until they get married. So it is more normal to find a man in his thirties still living with his mother then the opposite.

ONE STOP SHOPPING
Imagine a life without Target, Wal Mart or Save on. Literally, you have to go to the grocery store for your groceries, then go to another store for your office needs, go to another store for your toilitries, stop somewhere else if you need to fix anything in the house, and another store if you need to buy electronics. AND to all this before 1 or after 5. Luckily I haven't really LIVED here to have to do all that shopping but I definitely have a better appreciation for the local drug store.

Don't get me wrong, I love my trip, I love Italy, and if I could stay longer I would gladily do it. I could definitely live here for a couple years but I don't know if Italy could ever be my premenant residence ( I can see my mother smiling now). As much as I love the "Dolce Vita" persona of southern italy, it's hard for me to comprehend that a person is not defined by thier work. What do you mean you are going to be a bartender forever? Who is to say what way of living is better, or if one stop shopping is more convienent, but I have to say as much as I have learned being American. Yes, I said it... I am American.

funny thing that just happened...

Ijust went into the American Bar after my spinning class so I can get some free coffee from Fabio and the boys. While I was there hanging out all stinky and funky, this black woman walks into the bar. Daniele thinks she is one of my friends that he met on thursday and says " ah friends of Aireka". I start laughing because he truly believes this woman is one of my friends! I joke with her and say "don't we all look alike" but she doesn't crack a smile, she's pissed. Daniele quickly realizes he made a mistake and approaches her to apolgize. He politely asks her name and she says " I aint gonna tell you". Daniele sits for a second and says "Iaintgonatelya, oh molta dificile, that's hard". As I leave the bar Daniele is still refering to her as "Iaintgonatelya" and asks her if she would like to go out sometime. Too hilarious, I wish I had my camera for that one!

This is for you Cole!!

Im just gonna post a couple pictures of the things that I have previously talked about in my blog.

FABIO....




My families Kitchen... Mama Anna and Sorella Pina



The Tragic Killing in Piazza San Francesco



The coast of Sorrento